Yes, I am falling behind in posting regular updates. Never have been able to keep any kind of journal consistently. Oh well, the last thing I need is to put pressure on myself to continue doing what should be fun and come naturally. So accept my apologies if you've been waiting impatiently for my next post.
Spring is here, and with it I have 1000% times more energy and drive to get up and get things done, all of which has led to me being relatively busy and productive. Last week I was offered a job, finally. It feels amazing to know that on Wednesday there is a desk for me and I will be there at 9 a.m. in a cute new business-casual outfit, ready to start sorting and labeling data. Maybe you sense sarcasm... but no! While I have heard horrible things about this type of job (mostly from people kvetching on the internet), I harbor hopes that somehow maybe I am more constitutionally suited to the work. Then again, I often discover that I am far more normal than I've been given credit for. In any case, I'm motivated. If anything can get me excited it certainly will be having those checks start to pile up in my bank account. It's been far too long since I had anything piling up except bills and the shame of financial dependency.
In other news, Adam managed to reinstate the car insurance from overseas. No easy task, coordinating the paperwork when you are unmarried, living together, with no co-ownership of assets. Power of attorney was given to one of his family members, but fortunately we escaped having to use it. I have to say, if I had known more about what deployment would be like I think I would have pushed harder to get married beforehand. I think a lot of things would have just been easier to deal with, and it would have provided us with benefits we don't currently enjoy (like my health insurance, see under "lack thereof").
Well, we are definitely on the uphill side of the second half of deployment. Adam has never felt farther away. There's really not much he can do about it either, well, not without sacrificing his health so he can spend more time chit chatting with me. Obviously I don't want that. It's only that it feels hard to remember what our relationship was like when we were together. I remember being happy, having fun, being excited to see him, I know that I love him and that I want to be with him... it's just that feeling of the relationship is not actually here right now. I suppose that's normal when you don't get to talk to someone anymore, it just frightens me that maybe the feeling won't come back when he does. I've read that it takes work to re-establish the connection when your soldier returns, that's probably what they are talking about.
